Luce

Posted on Instagram on June 11, 2018

"The world is unfathomable and mysterious, just as we all are. The art of the warrior consists of reconciling the terror of being a man with the wonder of being a man." (P. Cohelo, Warrior of the Light)
.
This piece was a true challenge.
I went to work on an amulet because I needed the healing it brings me. I wanted to work on a piece complementary to my dark bird necklace - something that spoke of the light.
I also needed to saw and do some of that "drawing like" work, as opposed to the carving and the more freeform pieces...
.
I went to saw one of the designs I had ready.
And everything started to go fucking wrong.
Strong headache - so I had to quit earlier.
The next day I had a sleepless night and an argument in the family which lead me to panic.
Then I went to finally work in the shed, hoping the alone time and work would soothe me. And as usual, one of my relatives arrived and broke my focus.
You see, I work in the garden shed. So sometimes they need to come and pick up things, and sometimes in the process other things fall. And they never think to tell me something before they start the mess. Yes, I am angry.
The chaos they made had me solder a shitfuck.
I went back home. BLOODY ANGRY. At the work and silver wasted. But mostly, at the fact that I am so done being their doormat. .
I don't feel like a waste of space on the planet anymore. I see my issues but I also think I deserve to occupy some space. One of the biggest changes that therapy brought me so far.
Makes it hard to accept things the way they were.
.
So today I went back to work on this. I hoped to fix it and make it still be how I planned. I should have known better.
After more anger, I stopped.
.
I wanted to talk of what is of light. The sun the moon the stars.
It ends up being a talisman about the Inner Warrior. The one that is coming to the surface for me.
.
And yes it looks battered.
It looks worn. It looks like it had a life before coming to me.
I see how this is perfect.
Because I have to trust that my own Warrior has been dormant in me until now, but she has the experience and strength coming from many previous lifetimes.
And her armour is perfect, battle battered as it is.