INWARD

Posted on Instagram on January 13, 2019

One.
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My therapist went on vacation in Egypt. Planes. Distance.
It made me so scared.
I started thinking about terrible scary things happening to me, and not having her around to rescue me.
I panicked.
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And then I wanted to avoid the panic.
And then I realised that's an old pattern that I don't want to follow anymore, so I sat with these feelings.
I sat with the panic, allowing it to wash over me.
I asked myself: what are you really afraid of?
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I am afraid I can't take care of myself. I think that my therapist is the one who can save me.
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I am giving away my power.
She taught me skills to help me navigate life. She isn't the cure. I am the one who can help myself.
She is the one who helps me see my patterns, but I am the one who did the work. I am the one with the answers...
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I kept repeating this in my mind, over and over, all the night while spinning and knitting to keep the anxiety ad bearable levels.
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Inward. Inward. The answer is inside of you. You are it.
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I created this pendant like craving fresh air to breathe. Save save save me.
It's a pale citrine with inside cracks - rainbows - and under it I put snake skin.
Snake for the ability to shed the old skin. To be comfortable in that discomfort.
A Moth - another master of transformation, and one who is comfortable in the dark hours, while still being enamored with the light. To teach me that the darkness is nothing to run away from.
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In the back, an eye. An eye laying against your chest, pointing to your heart. Look inside. Go inward.
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Stop giving your power away. It's yours.
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This is all hand drawn, cut, carved in sterling and fine silver.