Amulets

Posted on Instagram on January 13, 2019

Today I took all of them off my neck.
For taking pictures by the trees.
To get ready to release them, to let them go out in the world.
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These pendants are a testimony of a journey.
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The things that happened to me this past week are quite silly from the outside - from a "normal person" perspective - but they left a mark on me - and they gave me a chance to see how things changed for me.
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My therapist went on vacation in Egypt. And I freaked out. I was scared. What if something bad happens and I can't deal with it on my own? She won't be around to rescue me!
It triggered my fear of being abandoned. My sense of isolation and helplessness.
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I had to sit with these emotions and ask myself "what are you really afraid of?".
The answers I got were really new and useful.
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Work has been my companion through the anxiety and panic.
Working during the day, channeling wisdom. Thinking about talismans during the night, to have something to hold on to while I was so afraid.
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When I felt like I may be able to feel better, the New Moon. Strong and dark.
And my mother and bf arguing.
More fear. More triggers for old traumas. More inside work.
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I wore all of them. I held them during the night, for comfort.
Layered each shard of wisdom on me.
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And today I will let them go.
I decided to post them on social is the best for me right now, I don't have the energy for a store update honestly - I will start to post them later, with their story and meaning.
It feels hard to let them go - it feels right to let them go.