In my own little world

Posted on instagram on March 25, 2018

A few days ago I found myself in the grasp of unexpected anxiety - I had 10 days panic free, and it hit me harder than it usually would have.
I could not help myself. The body tense, clutching. Breathing in little gulps of air. No matter how I tried to stay busy and meditate and breathe.
My mind was attacking me, repeating me the old story: "See, Alice, I told you, it was good but it couldn't last. You are back in the black hole. You are doomed for life."
I didn't want to hear these cruel words. To believe them. But it was so difficult, and all I wanted was to be able to reach that space inside of myself - that little world, all mine, where I can go and feel safe and find relief.
But I could not reach it. Just out of the grasp of my fingers.
And then I started to think if that place existed at all. Had I made it all up? Was I really delusional, and doomed to live in this hurtful hopeless state?
In the night hours, begging for sleep, I realised.

In spite of darkness, dream.

So I dreamed up these amulets.
To me, they are little worlds - all to yourself. Tiny planets to hide into. Where you can take your time to find your center again. Where you can finally slow down and find your breathing again. Where you can dream.

The outside is domed and textured like the surface of some far away planet. This is for the world to see.
The inside, to hold against your heart, is a hollow space filled with stars and abstract shapes. At first I wanted to put some sort of realistic landscape in it, but then I realised that each of us has their own images, objects and symbols of comfort... So, I'd rather give you an abstract landscape to gaze at, a tool to trigger your imagination, your own ability to dream and find the right symbols and the soul medicine that works for you.
This mini world, held against your chest, whispering to your heart, is a reminder that you can find that spark of peace again. And something like a meditation - dreaming tool to help you access it.
The solid weight of the amulets is someway grounding. Their texture is soothing tactile practice as you run your fingers on them.