WITH MY DARKNESS

Posted on Instagram on March 21, 2019

The last of the round of Owl pieces.
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The journey that brought me face to face with my darkness once again.
The chance to have a different relationship with it, even if in the smallest of details.
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The necessity to sit with my own darkness.
Which doesn't mean to dabble in it or to let my mind go even more downward in a spiral of self destruction.
Actually, allowing myself to stay with my darkness "as if it was ok" gave me the chance to experience how I can feel both sadness, fear and unpleasant emotions...while also accessing what is good in life.
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Which is big.
Until now, I just let it gobble me up.
Until now, every blow of depression (anxiety panic fear) would feel like the end of the world.
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Maybe, in a way, I felt less of a victim.
Yes, there are bad things.
Yes, I feel unpleasant emotions and sensations.
But it is not all there is.
But it is not forever.
But I can chose to let what I love lift me up.
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So I made this owlet, with a star diopside - blackest black, with a shiny star when the light hits it.
And inside the band I carved, in my handwriting - shaky as it was these days - the words "With my darkness".
A reminder to not to try and run away from it.
A reminder that I can - should - let it be in my life. That it can exist with the other parts of me and bring me its gifts.
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All sterling silver, handmade, cui and carved.