Shadow Self

Posted on Instagram on February 18, 2018

Thankyou so much, loves, for all your warm support, the love and light sent our way. I believe it was essential in helping me get back to my feet.
I am in a slightly better place, finally. The situation with the family is still heavy, but I am more at peace - it has gone so bad, for weeks, that I thought more than once to ask for hospitalization. I had my fair share of panic and desperation in my life, but I didn't think a body could go full blow, non stop panic attacks for 3 days in a row. Worn out is not enough to describe how I felt.
But I guess I am resilient.
I am eating again, even if with some difficulty. OCD is still big, but not as much as a week ago.
I changed my clothes after 2 weeks (yay).
And today I went for a test run at the bench - I wanted to see how I coped with the dust and all the ocd triggers and the attention the work requires. I planned half an hour. I ended up making this pendant, which of course took way more than half an hour. Skull that I carved into a freshwater pearl, and a nest of copper and silver leaves and branches for it.
Something cathartic and healing. To make peace with the cycle of life, with the shadow self. To trust the beauty I always can find in decay - the stage when the rose petals change color and wrinkle up and get ready to fall in a breathe of wind.
Those of you who have placed an order in the shop and didn't hear from me, I am getting back to you all between today and tomorrow. I thank you immensely for your patience.